Keep In Mind All The Sacrifices I'm Making
by CaskettFeels
Summary: Episode 8x01. Do not read this if you haven't seen it. Just a little Beckett POV for the climax of the show... you know what I'm talking about.


**Keep In Mind All The Sacrifices I'm Making**

 **A/N: How about that premiere, eh?! I liked it! Obviously, there are spoilers ahead. Do not read if you haven't seen the episode.  
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Beckett was outside the subway storage facility with only the comfort of her glock at her side. Three mercenaries dead, and more were on the way. All she knew was that she needed to end this, sooner, rather than later and figure out what Bracken knew. God, _Bracken_. Either he was definitely behind this, or he was spinning his wheel in his cell like some frantic mouse, wondering how he could capitalize on what was happening.

It seemed unlikely that Bracken would have anything to do with the death of Agent Rachel McCord - _fuck, that still stung -_ but when it came to the disgraced senator, all bets were off. Expecting the unexpected was necessary, and perhaps put Beckett on _this_ side of paranoid.

Inside was the man who would have all the answers she needed to a lot of the questions she had sizzling under the surface. Why was she a target? Why now? Who was behind all of it? Clenching her jaw, she prepared herself to enter the warehouse, pulling her gun out. The sound of tires on gravel reached her, and her heart leapt in her throat when she realized they were headed towards her.

Dashing, she headed for cover behind a stack of skids and crouched down, wincing as the stitches pulled in her side. She pressed her hand tenderly to the wound and bit down on her bottom lip. The van came to a stop and the woman using the stolen ID, known as Susan Emery, stepped out from the driver's side, pistol at her side. Through the small spaces in the pile of wood, Beckett watched for any signs that she might be spotted, and for any detail that might be important.

What was in the van? Weapons?

When the door opened, what she saw wasn't what she expected. "Castle…" she whispered to herself, fingers clutching her weapon tighter at the sight of him. He staggered out of the van, and she knew he'd been drugged. It happened so fast. One minute they were at the van, and the next they were at the door. Beckett peered around the stack of skids, and raised her gun, aiming, but Castle… His tall and loveably bulky frame shielded the petite mercenary.

Beckett's hands shook in frustration as they disappeared from view. She knew that unless she did something now, Castle wasn't going to be leaving this place alive. There was not a more terrifying thought in the world.

She ran for the door, heart pounding in her chest every step of the way. Just before she ripped it open, she had to force herself to stop, _think_. Castle was on the other side, with a gun pointed at him. If she just charged in there…

The possible scenarios in her head were enough to give her new fodder for her nightmares, which only compounded with every nightmare she's had in the past regarding her husband. Hand still trembling, she reached, fingers curling around the cold metal of the door handle. Ever so gently, she pulled, and her heart sank when she found that it wouldn't budge. "Come on!" she growled to herself and moved to search for another way in.

She found one a few moments later at the side of the building. Climbing through the window, she clenched her jaw shut at the pain pulling in her side.

The large warehouse was like a maze of stacks of wood. She felt hope and futility coiling inside her with every calculated step she took towards her goal. Castle was in there, _somewhere._ She could hear him, and it sent a panic through her, shocking her system, and forcing her to move faster. He was crying out.

" _Tell me where she is..._ " she heard echoing through the room. It was hard to get a lock on their position in this maze, but she knew she was headed in the right direction. But Castle… the terror in his cry… " _Where is she!"_ It wasn't a question, it was a demand.

" _I don't know!"_ Not that Beckett ever believed for a second that he would give her away even if she had kept him in the loop. This was what she had been trying to prevent. She wanted to keep him safe, and in the end, it didn't even matter.

" _Come on, Castle. No woman is worth dying for! Come on! WHERE IS SHE?!"_ Beckett moved faster, gun raised in front of her as she rounded corners of wood and found another wall of it facing her. The labyrinth was unyielding, it seemed, but she felt her own terror rising as she heard her husband crying out again.

 _Fuck, what are they doing to him…_

The sounds faded away for a second, and Beckett listened as best she could with the blood rushing in her ears. " _I believe that you're telling the truth. I do. I believe that you're telling me the truth, but unfortunately, that means that it's time for you to die."_

 _No!_

She was cutting corners, and her shirt snagged on a plank of wood, but it wouldn't stop her. Not now. She was close. She was so close. Close to him... close to losing him… She was caught on the corner in time to see Castle snap the twist ties on his wrists and charge the mercenary, knocking him over into the female. As things came to a head, Beckett pulled on her shirt until it ripped.

By then, Castle had ran, and bullets were flying after him. _Damnit, no!_ She charged after them, pain fading away with her coursing adrenaline. She had no idea where they could have gone. The bullets had stopped, and there was silence as the tigers hunted their prey.

Looking all around, she noticed Castle on top of the planks of wood, going for the window. _Yes. Good Castle. Get out._

She looked at her surroundings, determined not to fall victim to a sneak attack. There was an attack, and it wasn't near her. Castle grunted, and fell. The woman dropped down next to him and Beckett worked her way towards them. She only hoped that she would get there in time.

" _Lights out._ "

Coming around yet another stack, Beckett raised her gun and thought ' _Finally_ '. BANG, BANG. The woman went down, and before Beckett could get any closer to her husband, a hail of bullets came flying her way, splintering wood all around her. She pressed the attack, and the mercenary gave up ground, which in the end, was the smart thing to do - for him.

Watching him flee, she was torn. She fired two more shots at his retreating back, and saw him disappear out the door. She should give chase. She should stop him, but when she looked over at Castle, everything else just sort of fell away. He looked dazed, confused, and hurt. She never wanted to see him like this.

Instead, she was drawn towards him like a magnet. Despite everything that was happening, her heart ached. She missed him. She regretted lying to him, but it was what she would consider a necessary evil. Whatever this was, it still wasn't over, either.

She tossed the other gun aside and took to her knees before her husband, hands reaching out to cradle his jaw. All she could see was betrayal reflected in his eyes as he looked at her. She had done that to him. God, what had she done to this man by allowing him to insert himself into her life? Her selfishness nearly cost him everything.

"Castle?" she said gently, and gratefully at the same time, because he was alive. He was going to walk out of there and return to his family. "Are you okay?" _What the hell did they do to you?_ Her eyes roamed over him, searching for tell-tale signs of torture, but in the end found that he looked okay. Solid. Thank God for that.

"Where have you been? Why haven't you called?" came out in a rush.

Beckett wanted nothing more than to be able to tell him everything. She felt like she was between a rock and a hard place. She considered her options for a moment, and decided that his welfare was the most important thing to her. "I couldn't." It was a half truth, and one she knew that Castle wouldn't just accept with blind faith. Maybe that was the part of her that rubbed off on him.

"Kate, what's going on?"

He was looking at her so intently, and she was on the edge of telling him, but she pulled herself back and looked away. The sirens outside startled her. "I gotta go."

Castle grabbed her arm, desperate to keep her, and hold her for a little longer. The primal need to protect her was overwhelming. "No, no, Ka… Ka… Why are you shutting me out?"

She looked him in the eyes and hoped he could see all that she was feeling. "Castle. I love you." She leaned in, mouth fusing with his for a couple of seconds. She needed to leave, but if this was the last time she was going to see him…

Then, Beckett took to her feet and started running, leaving behind all calls of her name. Castle would be fine; the boys would take care of him.

She was a distance away when she finally turned back to look in the direction of the warehouse. It was out of sight, but Castle was back there. Tears flooded her eyes and streaked down her cheeks. "I'm doing this for you. For all of us," she whispered to herself, and turned away.

 _Castle, it's better this way._


End file.
